Lost

This isn't my normal movie review, but this is something that is near to my heart and has been heavy on my mind. Please keep reading, please feel free to share, give suggestions, get involved...anything...because I am to the point in which I don't know where to turn, and I don't know what to do.
For anyone that doesn't know, I am a middle school teacher and have been for the last 7 years. I teach 7th and 8th grade special education language arts. I love my job. It is crazy. It is stressful. It takes up so much of my time that if I put it all down on a time sheet it would amaze you. It is expensive. It is rewarding. I became a teacher because I love to help people. I thought that the best way to do that was to start when people are young, maybe be a sense of guidance before they made the mistakes that I learned from already. My hope was to encourage kids to learn. I wanted them to know that even with the limitations that they may have, or the struggles that they face with learning; if they really put in the work, if they really tired, they could do anything at all they wanted. I was here to help and inspire them. I swore I would never teach to a test.
I started like any young teacher starts. I had fun and interesting ideas. I stayed to late. I decorated my classroom with bright colors. We talked about the quote of the day because I love quotes. We read books that made my cry and laugh in class. The kids had fun. I had fun. They were learning.
I never have gotten away from that, but as the years have progressed society has begun to tell me that I am not good at my job. I am being told that I have to be better. I am being told that it is my SOLE responsibility to make my students learn, and that they all learn the same. I am now being told that my job depends on how my students preform on a standardized test.
My students are below grade level. They are not at 7th and 8th grade reading levels. Some of them are closer to the 3rd and 4th grade levels. I have a few that are even lower. They struggle with reading comprehension. They don't have the tools to write a good sentence let alone good paragraphs. They struggle and that is ok because it was my job to fill in those gaps. It was supposed to be my job to slow things down for them. I was supposed to be able to give them those foundations that they missed along the way and begin to push them to their own personal limits and then show them that they can do even better then they ever thought possible.
This is no longer a possibility. Over the last two years, a new evaluation system has been put into place for teachers. The math and language arts teachers in middle school now have their final end of the year evaluations based off of their students scores on a standardized test. There is no consideration taken for students in the special education programs and students in basic skills classes. Each students is tested and this score gets figured into our evaluations at the end of the year. In our district, we just received our scores from last year. My student's scores put me into the 1 category for that part of the evaluation. I was not the only one in my department because the reality is that our students do not test well, and they are not taking a test that is on their level at all. This effected my final evaluation for the year. I was now a partially ineffective teacher and will need to have an action plan put into place for this year. OH! I forgot to mention. I was also teacher of the year last year. All in the same year I was teacher of the year AND partially ineffective in the classroom. There is something wrong with this system.
We are being directed by the high powers that be to teach to these tests.
We are being told all the time to take precious class time in labs to practice taking these tests. We are not teaching our children. We are telling them HOW to take a test. There is no critical thinking involved. There is no love for learning being facilitated. I have never in my life felt more lost. My time was cut in half this year. I went from 90 minutes of class time to 45 minutes. (I feel that 90 minutes is perfect for a language arts class. We are teaching two completely different skills and that is a hard thing to do in a 45 minute time frame with students who are slower learners and need extra time for things.) I was told that this was done so that I could mirror a general education classroom.
I feel like a brand new teacher this year. I have had to change everything I have done over the last 7 years. We haven't been able to play any fun games. I haven't been able to plan any fun events. This is because my students move slower. It takes them double the amount of time it would take a general education students to complete something like a simple essay or a simple worksheet. I have not been able to work on the writing basics and the parts of speech because I am told that is not in the core content curriculum standards for 7th grade. I have to teach right to the standards...even though they don't have the foundations to even begin to work on those standards.
I am lost. I am torn between doing things that I KNOW worked for my students, and doing what I am told I have to do in order to keep my job. Things and activities that I know helped give them the foundations that they needed and helped them to really start to enjoy reading and writing. I feel like am failing my kids. I don't know what else I can do. This is one of the most frustrating things I have ever come across.
Parents are demanding that teachers be held accountable. The lawmakers, in order to appease parents and get their votes, are making laws to hold us accountable by testing their kids. Parents then in turn say that their kids are not learning and that there is too much testing. This is a horrible cycle and it needs to be stopped. We need to pause, hit delete, and start from scratch. Much of what is happening now is due to poor understanding and misinformation on all ends, and you know who suffers from all of this? The kids. I sometimes wish that people could spend one week in my job.
I wish that they could work the 14+ hour days, put in that extra time on the weekends and during the holidays, work through a time when it is supposed to be your vacation, no be able to take a vacation, spend your own money so that you can do your job, and in the end take home almost half of what you make on paper. I don't do what I do because the pay and the benefits are spectacular. I would probably make the same amount of money if I worked in retail.  
Now please do not misunderstand me. I am in no way says that teachers should not be held accountable, and that tests be should not look at as a TOOL. I feel that if this continues on the path that we are on there is going to be no turning back soon. Education is becoming a business. There is no place for that in education, and if I hear one more person tell me that it is just the way things are I am going to freak out. Just because that is the way things are doesn't make it right, and it does not mean that it shouldn't change. I do not want to sit by and watch the public education system turn into a business venture. I do not want to watch as it becomes and avenue for people to get their name out there in the world so they can feel good about themselves. I want it to be a place to inspire the minds of tomorrow. I want it to be a safe place where kids are excited to go and where they grow.
I just don't know what to do to fix it. I cannot just keep doing what I am doing....because just teaching my kids isn't working anymore. I am not able to....if you have the answers.....please.....guide me....help get me out of the fog I am in because the reality is....our children's futures depend on it.

Why Should We Continue to Talk About 9/11/01?

Today I talked to my Language Arts students a little bit about why I discuss September 11, 2001 every year with all of my classes. I am not a history teacher by any means (although I get to play one this year! lol), but the significance of this day is not lost on me or anyone else in America. As the years go by and the younger generations become older....it is more and more apparent to me that we need to continue to discuss this in our classrooms and with our children. Today I told my students that I like to discuss it with them because the world on September 10, 2001 and the world on September 11, 2001 at 8:46 am..... is a completely different world. One of my students then proceeded to ask me, "It is?" That caused me to stop for a few moments....with those two simple words I feel that the importance of continuing to talk about what happened on that day 12 years ago is apparent.
We always talk about learning history because if you don't know history we are doomed to repeat it. I think there is something more to it than that. I think that the importance of learning history is to understand and appreciate the world that you are a part of today. The things that happened just yesterday are shaping the world we will wake up in tomorrow. This event effects so much and has shaped the country with live in more than I can wrap my own head around. I truly believe that it is so important to the younger generations to understand and to learn.
There is not  a better way to learn about history then from the people that lived it, and we ALL lived that day. Each and everyone of us has our own story and how it effected us. They can learn from US. There are not many historical events that can be taught by so many primary sources. Not only can we all share our stories, but there are so many videos, so many new stories, so many things that our children has access too to learn about and to help them to understand. I cannot think of any other historical event that has been more documented then the attacks on September 11, 2001. It is so easy to go and watch the breaking news reports from that day.
This is not to say that I think that this is more important than say WWII, Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, Korea, but this was the first and only time that we were attacked on our own soil while we were not engaged in a war. Military was not the target here...it was US it was the civilians. We were the targets and we were the tools. All of the other major historical events that we discuss in history are wrapped around war and our military. This does not fall into that category. This was different. This opened our eyes to the idea that we are all vulnerable and we are not necessarily all safe. That was an ignorant thing to believe.
We need to continue to remember, now because it is time to teach the younger generations.... to show them what hatred can do, to show them what a truly united nation looked like, to show them what kindness is, to show them what strength is, to show them what self sacrifice looks like, to show them fear, to show them that no matter what.....there is always recovery and there is always a way to overcome.
There is so much to be learned from the events that occurred on that Tuesday 12 years ago. I it is something that I will always teach in my classroom and as the generations get younger and younger.... I will make sure that my lessons evolve to support them. I will always light my candle...and one day when I have children of my own...we will talk about it and light the candle together....because We Won't Forget.

Waiting for Superman

"One of the saddest days of my life was when my mother told me Superman did not exist.... I was crying because there was no one coming with enough power to save us."

 

I am 27 years old and I am a special education Language Arts teacher in a middle school. I have been teaching for almost 5 years. I love what I do, but it does not come without it's share of daily challenges. There is not a moment that goes by that I am not thinking in some way about how I can help my students. There is not one hour that passes in which there is not that nagging worry in the back of my mind that constantly asks if I am doing what is best for my kids. Am I doing what is needed for them to succeed.
I am not naive to think that what I do doesn't matter. I know it does, and I take that responsibility to heart. I know that what I say and do can affect a child for the rest of their lives. I wish that it didn't, but I would be a fool to not understand that and to know that this is the truth. I can make or break a child. How they do in life can depend on me. I could be their crossroads. Whether they decide to go left rather than right. This scares the living day lights out of me, and yes...it is one of the many things that I lose sleep over on a daily basis.
The documentary, Waiting for Superman,  focused on the public education system and how it is failing our students. Being a teacher this is an issue that I am directly involved in. This is something that I battle with everyday. It is so frustrating to see all of these young children struggling. It kills me everytime I hear a public official say that this is "All about the kids." The reality is...no it isn't about the kids. If it was about the kids, so many of our students would not be going through the public education system 2 and 3 grade levels behind in reading and math. The reality is that if you are behind in reading and math, you are going to struggle in other areas as well. How are these students making it through? How are they graduating? Who is failing these students?
There are so many factors that go into a student being successful. This film touched on the ones that involved effective teachers, and administrations doing what is necessary for the students rather than focusing on what the adults need and want. Being on the other end of this, the teaching aspect,  I would be a fool to say that these are some of the problems for sure, but these are not the only ones that are failing our students.
The parents are a huge factor in the lives of the students that pass through the education system. It has been a proven fact that parents with involvement their their students school work will have more productive students. Also, I have seen in just my 5 years of teaching a a decline in the responsibility factor of the students and children in general of today. Many of the student want to see the work done for them, they do not want to take responsibility for their actions and many parents make excuses for their children. These excuses are not helping them. Children have this sense of entitlement, a sense that they deserve to get the good grades and do so well just because they have shown up. They don't have to work for it. This is a problem and one that many people don't seem to want to talk about or to address.
So many people are looking for the person to blame. The people to point the finger at. The reality of this, is that there is not just one person to blame. Everyone has had a hand in the decline in the public education; administration, teachers, parents, and students alike. I do not that any real change will be able to occur until everyone stops pointing their fingers and begins to look at themselves and start to accept the responsibility.
This is not just any job. When you enter the world of education, you have to realize that you are entering a career that your choices are not entirely your own anymore. What you do matters, what you do affects every single one of those students that crosses your path during the course of a day. It is not a choice that anyone should enter lightly or one that should be entered into for the wrong reasons. As much as we don't like it, sometimes you classroom has to come first, your kids come first, because No it isn't JUST a job.  School is the first step for the rest of these child's lives. This is where you will lay their building blocks. This is where they will prepare for a world outside of their homes.
Yes, the education system needs to be reformed. There are problems, but not one person or group is responsible. Change will only come when all parties can come together and understand that it IS ALL ABOUT THE KIDS.
I would defiantly recommend this documentary if you enjoy watching things like this. As an educator this made me sad because I want so badly to be that superman all of these kids are waiting for....maybe one day...